Date Night Tips

Some great date night tips from pastor Mark Driscoll. 

1. Parents, if you can’t afford a sitter, is there a way to set up a rotation with three other families to take turns each week watching kids for date night?
2. Husbands, when is your date night? Your wife needs it. You do, too. Grace and I have enjoyed Friday date nights for about 20 years.
3. Husbands, don’t waste every date night at a movie where you can’t talk. Use the time to visit with your wife, draw her out, and study her like you do the Bible.
4. Husbands, plan out your date nights. Ask you wife in advance what sounds good, see what your options are, and make a plan. She’ll be thankful.
5. Date night killers: no plan, selfishness, laziness, letting technology keep interrupting, and doing the same old predictable thing.
6. Time with other couples now and then is OK, but if most date nights involve other people, there is likely an intimacy disconnect in the marriage.
7. Dads, moms who stay home all day with the kids need to get dressed up, taken out, and have some adult conversation with their husbuddy.
8. Husbands, what can you do to find some creative ways to make date night fun and endearing even on a tight budget?
9. Husbands, what can you start doing days or hours before date night to build the expectation of connection with your wife? Flowers, cards, calls, texts?
10. When life gets crazy, the kids are sick, etc. is there any way to sneak in a bit of a date night at home with say a soak in the tub together, glass of wine etc. after the kids go to sleep?
11. Sometimes sending the kids out to someone’s house and having a date night at home can be cheap and fun if planned right.
12. Men, you don’t pursue a woman to marry her and stop pursuing her. You pursue a woman to marry her and pursue her with more passion and creativity than ever. How’s it going husbands?
13. Men, you don’t need to understand women. You will be doing better than most men to understand just one woman. Date nights are to ask inviting questions, listen, and learn about her. It’s also a night to open up and let her do the same.
14. Men, if you don’t date your wife, someone else may eventually volunteer for the job.
15. Ladies, sometimes it’s a great gift to go into your husband’s world for a date night by doing something like putting on a jersey going to a game and eating a hot dog. His love language may just be hot dog.
16. Men: find a shirt with buttons, try two eyebrows instead of one, find a breath mint or 20, show up with a gift, don’t ogle other women, and go to a restaurant that does not have a spork.
17. Sometimes the best date night is date breakfast, date lunch, or surprise pick up your spouse from work for an hour at a hotel.

Another resource I'd highly recommend for men is C.J. Mahaney's Sex, Romance, and the Glory of God.  We need to remember that our marriages were designed by our Lord to be a picture of Christ and His church (Ephesians 5:22-33), therefore the health of our marriages is truly tied to God's glory.  Let's constantly pray and work to be pursuing our spouses for our joy and God's glory!

~Ryan

Our New Baby!

Yesterday - Thursday July 29 - at 1:04am Adilee Sue Galdamez was born.  What a blessing!  It's amazing how impatient one can become as they await the arrival of these little bundles.  Shelly and Adilee are doing are doing great.  She came in at 6 lbs, 10.4 ozs, and 20 1/4 inches long. 

It's amazing how choked up I get when I see my children for the first time.  You'd think after six it would be old hat but it's not.  Each of my kiddos is such an individual person and a blessing.  They are great reminders of God's abounding grace to me in Christ.  Now may He draw each of their hearts to see and savor His glory!

~Ryan

Adopting an Unreached People Group

As a follow up to yesterday's post I thought I'd include some steps that our church, or any church, can take as they move toward adopting an unreached people group.  This list is taken from the International Mission Board's website - http://www.imb.org/ - and a link to a more extensive PDF version of this list can be found on their site (click here to be taken to the PDF version).

1. Pray for God’s guidance

2. Discover your church’s natural affinity (DNA)

3. Determine the church’s expectations for adoption

4. Work with church leaders and identify a mission “champion”

5. Investigate opportunities

6. When God directs you to a specific unreached people group, pray and celebrate God’s direction.

7. Communicate, follow through and keep your commitments.
 
Please pray with me as we seek to honor our Lord and win the lost.
 
~Ryan

The Brushes of God's Painting

I have begun dreaming, hoping and praying that our church, Grace Baptist, would move to "adopt" an unreached people group (UPG) in the 10/40 Window (Revelation 5:9) - specifically joining our missionary brothers and sisters in the Pacific Rim.  I would love to see us labor and give by God's grace and not give up until we see a reproducing church planted in each UPG.  Although I have some ideas as to how to go about this, I readily admit that I don't have all that many answers.  Sankie and I met with Jim and Chris last week and talked about this vision and we are all praying that it will come to bear fruit.

The glory of God is the supreme value in all the universe (Isaiah 40:12-31) and we have been created for His glory (Isaiah 43:6-7; 1 Corinthians 10:31).  What a joy and privilege we have to join this amazing God as He saves a people "to the praise of His glorious grace" (Ephesians 1:6).  Take a moment to consider this quote from pastor John Piper which he stated in a message entitled "The Unfathomable Riches of Christ, for All Peoples, Above All Powers, Through the Church."

Picture in your mind a great, wise painter, painting on a huge canvas with many brushes, most of them very ordinary and messy. The painter is God, so you can't picture him. He's invisible. But he intends for his painting to be the visible display of his wisdom. He knows people can't see him, but he wants his wisdom to be seen and admired. His canvas is huge. It's the size of the created universe. I know you can't really imagine looking at that canvas because you are in it. But do your best.

And God is painting with thousands and thousands of colors and shades and textures—a picture as big as the universe and as old as creation and as lasting as eternity—a picture we call history, with the central drama being the preparation, salvation, and formation of the church of Jesus Christ. And he is using thousands of different brushes, most of them very ordinary and very small because every minute detail is crucial in this painting, to display the wisdom of the Painter. These brushes are God's missionaries.

I would add that these brushes also include God's faithful children who stand behind those missionaries through their prayers, financial support, and encouragement.  Please pray with me and Sankie as we seek to move, by God's grace, in this direction.

For His fame,

~Ryan

Hudson Taylor and Resting in Christ

I want to commend to you the book, Hudson Taylor's Spiritual Secret.  We assigned it again this summer for our interns.  As we began to our discussion last week I was again struck by the truth of the sufficiency of Jesus Christ alone and my need not to strive but simply to restfully trust.  Here are a few quotes I sent to my brother in the Lord, Jonathan, as he serves in Ethiopia:

I prayed, agonized, fasted, strove, made resolutions, read the Word more diligently, sought more time for meditation - but all without avail. Every day, almost every hour, the consciousness of sin oppressed me.


But how to get faith strengthened? Not by striving after faith, but by resting on the Faithful One. As I read, I saw it all! "If we believe not, he abideth faithful." I looked to Jesus and saw (and when I saw, oh, how joy flowed!) that He had said, "I will never leave thee." "Ah, there is rest!" I thought. "I have striven in vain to rest in Him. I'll strive no more. For has not He promised to abide with me - never to leave me, never to fail me?" And, dearie, He never will.


And since Christ has thus dwelt in my heart by faith how happy I have been! I wish I could tell you about it, instead of writing. I am no better than before. In a sense, I do not wish to be, nor am I striving to be. But I am dead and buried with Christ - aye and risen too! And now Christ lives in me, and "the life I now live in the flesh, I live by faith of the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me."

Oh, to live in that conscious reality. The supremacy and sufficiency of Christ alone. I hope and pray that we expereince this type of rest and joy in the reality of Jesus Christ our Lord.

Looking to Him,

~Ryan

The Prodigal

I have been being blessed more and more lately by the music ministry of Soverign Grace.  Rarely today do we find such depth of truth, accuracy, and heart-felt worship.  I listened to and watched this music video this morning and it left me tearing up and praising my amazing God for His grace found in His Son.  I commend it to anyone for their humiliation and edification.



Here are the lyrics:


You held out Your arms, I walked away
Insolent I spurned Your face
Squandering the gifts You gave to me
Holding close forbidden things
Destitute a rebel still, a fool in all my pride
The world I once enjoyed is death to me
No joy, no hope, no life

Where now are the friends, that I had bought
Gone with every penny lost
What hope could there be for such as I
Sold out to a world of lies
Oh, to see Your face again, it seems so distant now
Could it be that You would take me back
A servant in Your house

You held out Your arms, I see them still
You never left, You never will
Running to embrace me, now I know
Your cords of love will always hold
Mercy’s robe, a ring of grace
Such favor undeserved
You sing over me and celebrate
The rebel now Your child

© 2009 Sovereign Grace Worship (ASCAP).

HALLELUJAH - WHAT A SAVIOR!!!
 
~ryan

Friendships - Proverbs, part 5

Why do you spend time with the friends you have? Think about this for a moment. Why?

None of us wants to be lonely. In fact we know from Scripture that God made us to be in relationship.

What did God say after He made Adam? “It is not good that man should be alone” (Genesis 2:18). So relationships are God’s idea. I mean think about it, when God saves us as individuals he saves us into something. What is that something? Answer: The church – the assembled/called out people of God. We are not saved to just go on our merry way all by ourselves, but rather we are called into a people, a family who are to seek to glorify God together.

So our relationships are important to God and they should be important to us.

Well let’s spend a bit of time gaining God’s wisdom for our lives in the area of friendships. Remember, this is God’s idea and it was meant for our good and His glory, so we would do well to listen to Him.

The Influence of Friends

First we are going to talk about the influence of friends. How much do you think your friendships influence you? Often our style of dress, the activities we engage in, the places we go, and the values we hold are being shaped by our relationships and we may not even realize it.

God knows that who we spend time with will influence us. Consider these texts:

Prov. 28:7 The one who keeps the law is a son with understanding, but a companion of gluttons shames his father.

Prov. 29:3 He who loves wisdom makes his father glad, but a companion of prostitutes squanders his wealth.

Prov. 27:17 Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another.

Prov. 13:20 Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm.

1 Cor. 15:33 Do not be deceived: “Bad company ruins good morals.”

In short – you will be influenced by who you spend time with. So, how should this affect how you choose friends?

Characteristics of Friends

Now, let’s think about characteristics of friends. What makes a good or bad friend?

Consider these verses:

Prov. 27:10a Do not forsake your friend and your father's friend.
They stick with you. This is not always easy. What about when you do something wrong or embarrassing, will they still be by your side. A good friend sticks with you.

Prov. 10:12 Hatred stirs up strife, but love covers all offenses.
They forgive real offenses. Do friends sometimes do things wrong? Yes. A good friend will try to salvage a relationship and forgive.

Prov. 24:28 Be not a witness against your neighbor without cause, and do not deceive with your lips.
A good friend is honest. They won’t speak against you without a good reason.

Prov. 27:5-6 Better is open rebuke than hidden love. Faithful are the wounds of a friend; profuse are the kisses of an enemy.
A good friend will get in your face when you need it. They’ll do what’s good for you, not merely tell you what you want to hear. I am right now reaching out to a friend who I’ve discovered is struggling with pornography. I could easily turn my head and ignore it but I care too much for him.

Prov. 27:9 Oil and perfume make the heart glad, and the sweetness of a friend comes from his earnest counsel.
A good friend gives good counsel. Think about your friendships, are the things your friends are telling you to do good or not?

Heb. 3:13 But exhort one another every day, as long as it is called “today,” that none of you may be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin.

Heb. 10:24-25 And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.

A good friend will point you away from the deceitfulness of sin, will point you to Christ, to living for what really matters.

The Goal of Friends

Lastly, let’s think about the goal of friends. Have you ever thought about this? Have you ever stopped to consider that you should be intentional as a friend?  I think we usually just have friends because we enjoy being with them. But, is this really all it’s about? Is there no higher purpose?

Let’s back this up to the bigger picture. What is our goal supposed to be for everything in life? Answer: to glorify God! So, should your friendships be any different?

How can you glorify God in friendships? Look back at the verses from Hebrews. What do we see? Exhorting away from sin – stirring up to love and good deeds – meeting together with the purpose of pointing to Christ and His return.

What about you?

Are you intentional in your relationships? Or are you just there for what you can get out of it? Really think about this.

Maybe you need to repent concerning how you’ve been handling relationships. Probably most of you need this. You need to again see how you’ve not walked in God’s way – you have sinned against Him. You need to recognize this and turn from it and again look to the cross of Christ – this amazing God-man who took our sins upon Himself and took God’s wrath in our place and then He rose from the dead to give us new life.


You see, God cares about your relationships. He cares about how you behave in relationships. Will you seek to glorify Him?

We need to remember that the book of Proverbs was written to help us live our lives in a way that pleases God and is profitable to us. Don’t be a fool. Be wise in your relationships.

~Ryan

A Little Food For Your Soul

"The life of every Christian is filled with enough inconsistencies to disprove the Christian faith every day if it were based on our changed lives. The history of the church is littered not only with heresies and schisms but with crusades, inquisitions, and the justification of atrocities in the name of Christ. Yet in all of this we can point away from ourselves, individually and collectively, to "the Lamb of God, who takes away the sin of the world" (John 1:29) In fact, it is only by repenting of our spiritual pride and casting ourselves ever anew on God's mercy in his Son that we can become servants rather than masters of our neighbors" ~Michael Horton

Belief Test - Answers

Here are the answers to the "Belief Test" that I posted the other day.  Take a look and see how you did.

1. Agree or Disagree: The sign of a justified person is to say, “God have mercy upon me a sinner.”
(AGREE – We know this is true because it is a quote from the lips of Jesus in Luke 18:13-14. This cry is from one who has seen His sin in light of the holiness of God and is crying out for mercy. Jesus stated that the tax collector who proclaimed these words went home justified. One might argue that this is not “the sign” but it would seem from Jesus words that the attitude that lead the man to utter these words would indicate one who is justified.  What justified person would not utter these words?!?)


2. Agree or Disagree: There is no one who is righteous, no one who understands, there is no one who seeks God, there is no one who does good.
(AGREE – These are the very words of Scripture found in Romans 3:10-12. We have to line up our understanding of mankind with the Word of God and not let our own impressions guide us.)

3. Agree or Disagree: We are saved by grace after all that we can do.
(DISAGREE – This is in no way scriptural but rather is a teaching of Joseph Smith, the founder of Mormonism. We are saved by grace – period. There is nothing we can do – Ephesians 2:8-9. The saved person is one who has seen his sinfulness and the provision of God in Jesus Christ and responds by God’s grace in repentance and faith.)

4. Agree or Disagree: The heart is deceitful above all things and desperately wicked.
(AGREE – Again, this is from the Bible - Jeremiah 17:9.)

5. Agree or Disagree: Salvation is for those who do absolutely nothing to help save themselves but simply trust in a God who justifies wicked people.
(AGREE – This teaching is found in Romans 4:5. This is the good news for desperately sinful people like us. You and I have nothing to offer God.)

6. Agree or Disagree: A Christian is someone who is simultaneously a saint and a sinner.
(AGREE – The Apostle Paul understood himself to be both a saint and a sinner. Check these references - Ephesians 3:8; 1 Timothy 1:15. Not only was Paul declared righteous in God’s sight and therefore a “holy-one” but he understood his remaining sinfulness that resided in him and clearly saw that he was still a sinner. Again, this is the Gospel – the good news that I stand before God not on my own merit but on Christ’s merit imputed to me.)

7. Agree or Disagree: No one can come to Jesus unless enabled to do so by the Father.
(AGREE – Jesus stated this in John 6:44. Left to our own devices we would continue in rebellion to God. We are saved by grace.)

8. Agree or Disagree: God will not deny His grace to those who do what lies within their power.
(DISAGREE – this is a medieval Roman Catholic belief – older version of “God helps those who help themselves.” This adds human effort to the work of Christ. Christ is sufficient for the salvation of all who believe – Hebrews 7:25.)

9. Agree or Disagree: Salvation does not depend on man’s choice or effort but on God’s mercy.
(AGREE – This is found in Romans 9:16. We want to add something to our salvation but God’s Word does not allow it. Read all of Romans 9-11. I love the way Paul concludes this section in 11:33-36. These teachings are too far above us and therefore should lead us to praise the One of infinite glory.)

10. Agree or Disagree: Even our good works are sinful and repugnant to God.
(AGREE – Isaiah 64:6 – We have nothing in ourselves to offer God. In fact anything we do that is not out of faith is sin, Romans 14:23. It is only through faith, by the cleansing of the Spirit, that we can offer anything to God that is acceptable.)

It is important to know what you believe and also why you believe it.
 
~Ryan

Spring Snow

Yesterday was the first day of spring and everyone was out with shorts and T-shirts..what a difference one day makes.  Here are some pics from today.

Why is Charys eating his head?  Noel was a big help in building our snowman.

Noel and Indiana Snowman.  Noel wasn't too sure that she liked the snow blowing in her face - but she sure was cute.

Elijah was trying to catch the snow on his tongue while the boys constructed a snow fort.

The girls made a bug.

Here's the finished product - pretty creative.  Charys has a bug collection for a school project and she's going to add a picture of her big bug.

Well, it's been a fun day.  Right now we're inside nice and warm and watching some "The Walton's."  Quality entertainment.

Keep your eyes on Christ,

~Ryan